


Maybe They Could Fix This After All

by supernaturalfreakin



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Broken Jack, Caring Ianto, Comforting Ianto, Hurt Jack, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jack Has Feelings, Jack Has Issues, M/M, Nervous Jack, Panic Attacks, Post-Episode: s02e01 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Post-The Year that Never Was (Doctor Who), Scared Jack, The Year That Never Was (Doctor Who), Vulnerable Jack, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalfreakin/pseuds/supernaturalfreakin
Summary: Jack and Ianto go on their date after Jack gets back from travelling with the Doctor. Jack isn’t the same any more, Ianto can see it in his eyes but what did really happen in that time?Set after Episode: Kiss Kiss Bang BangTrigger warnings for mentions of torture, rape and panic attacks
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Maybe They Could Fix This After All

**Author's Note:**

> I deliberately left some things open for you to imagine.
> 
> I don’t own anything.  
> English isn’t my first language.
> 
> Please R&R! :)

‘Are you coming in for a coffee?’ smirked Ianto.

He and Jack had finally been on that date Jack had asked him on after he came back.

The food had been delicious and the film had made them laugh quite a few times.  
Through it all they had talked about many things. Jack had asked him about what he had missed while he was gone, how his sister and her family was, how he was.

He had made quite an effort in making Ianto feel important and he seemed genuinely interested but Ianto had never dared to ask what he had seen in the time he was gone.  
There was something in Jack’s eyes that was new and he couldn’t place it.  
At times he was nervous and uncertain which made Ianto feel uneasy.  
He had never seen or imagined that Jack was capable of being nervous and so he decided to let it go and wait for him to start whenever he was ready.

It felt good to have Jack back and he had certainly enjoyed the evening.

Afterwards they walked side-by-side back to Ianto’s flat.  
It was late and dark so they barely passed other people and could relish the fresh air and peace.

That’s how they got to where they were now. At Ianto’s front door with Ianto not ready for their evening to end just yet, waiting for Jack’s answer.

Jack hesitated for a second before he agreed with a nervous smile following Ianto inside where they shed their coats and shoes.

Walking into the kitchen Ianto quickly set to making two cups of coffee. While Jack patiently waited by the counter watching Ianto move through the kitchen.

Grabbing the two steaming cups Ianto went to stand beside Jack at the counter who thanked him.

Taking a sip, he put it back down quietly enjoying the taste and then he looked back up into Ianto’s eyes smiling ‘I had a wonderful time this evening and I’d like it to happen again… if you want that too. I’ve really missed you…’

Smiling in return Ianto too set his cup down on the counter and took Jack’s hand into his own. It was a tad clammy and shook slightly from his nervousness but Ianto didn’t care ‘I want this to happen again, it was a lot of fun. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve missed this - us’

Ianto moved forwards so he stood right in front of him with Jack’s back against the counter. His eyes dilated and his breath began to quicken.

Jack didn’t dare to move so Ianto placed his hands on Jack’s neck and slowly brought their faces together until their lips were touching. Just lips on lips, gently brushing then opening his mouth. After a few moments he felt Jack relax and return the kiss.

Enjoying the coffee taste on each other’s lips and the feeling of soft skin they continued kissing and Ianto’s hands moved over Jack’s shoulder, chest, stomach and back - exploring. Twisting his hands into Jack’s belt loops he strongly pulled himself flat against Jack expecting to feel his arousal against his hip.

Instead he felt Jack’s whole body freeze and stiffen. Completely unprepared for this reaction he stopped kissing him.

‘Stop… Please, stop…’ Jack whimpered, panic lacing his voice.

He still had his eyes closed and his breathing was rapidly quickening, already too harsh and loud against the silence in the kitchen.

‘I’m sorry, did I hurt you?’ Ianto asked taking a step back, thrown off guard by his reaction.

‘Please stop I can’t take any more. It hurts too much’ sobbed Jack.

He was shaking, bordering on a full-blown panic attack now.

‘Jack can you hear me? Please open your eyes for me. It’s Ianto. You are safe. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise but please open your eyes’ Ianto coaxed.

Carefully Jack opened his eyes ‘Please don’t use him. Not him. I know this isn’t real. I’ll do whatever you want but please not him’ Jack was barely able to hold himself upright ‘Please don’t hurt me any more, not through him’

Ianto was shell shocked. No wonder Jack was nervous around him the whole time.  
He had been hurt badly. Someone had hurt him and they had used him, his person to do it. How was he going to fix this?

‘Jack’ he croaked ‘please look at me’

Reluctantly he did as he was told.

‘Look into my eyes and tell me what you see’ he ordered.

‘I see... I see concern. Why are you concerned?’ Jack frowned.

‘Because this is real, Jack. You are back in Cardiff, back with me and I’m not going to hurt you’ Ianto promised.

Jack searched Ianto’s eyes for another minute before he looked around taking in his surroundings. Realization dawned on him and he paled immediately.

‘We were on a date’ he stammered ‘Oh god. I’m so sorry. I wanted to do it right and now I messed up again. I’m so sorry, please forgive me’ he pleaded.

Ianto’s eyes filled with tears.

‘What did they do to you?’ he whispered but Jack didn’t answer, he simply looked down.

‘I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at whoever did this to you. You don’t deserve this. Please believe me when I say that I won’t hurt you’

Uncertainly Jack looked up at him through big, sad eyes.

‘I’m sorry’ he repeated.

‘It’s okay. I’m not mad just worried. Uhm… Can I… Can I ask you a few things?’ he asked carefully.

‘I’m not sure I can answer them… not yet… but I can try’ he stuttered.

‘That’s okay. Just nod or shake your head yeah? And if it’s too much you tell me and I’ll stop. I just… I want to understand and help. I don’t want to trigger another attack, not with anything I do or say’ Ianto explained.

Without another word Jack slowly stepped forward and pulled him into a tentative hug, burying his nose in Ianto’s neck ‘Okay’

‘Do you want to stay like this?’ Ianto asked slowly fondling the hairs on his neck. Then he felt Jack nod.

‘Okay. Uhm… I’m fairly sure I already know the answer but you were gone longer than three months, right?’

Jack nodded.

‘Five Month?’ Jack shook his head.

‘Eight?’ Another shake.

‘Ten?’ Ianto asked hesitantly but got another shake.

‘A year?’ he asked which earned him a nod and Ianto instantly shuddered, pulling Jack closer.

‘Bloody hell’ Ianto exclaimed ‘Were you tortured the whole year?’

At Jack’s nod he felt faint. A whole year away from him, tortured the whole time.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say… Did they always use my appearance to hurt you?’ he asked breathlessly.

Jack shook his head.

‘What did they do? They beat you, right?’

Jack began to tremble in his arms but gave a jerky nod.

‘It’s okay, you are alright’ he hushed ‘did they kill you?’

Another nod.

‘Often?’

Nodding and more trembling.

‘There’s more to it, isn’t it?’

Jack began to hyperventilate and Ianto wanted to kick himself for pushing too much. However, one thought nearly made him throw up. What if they had touched him? What if they had raped him? What if they had used him to do these horrible things?

But he couldn’t ask Jack, not right now. He was already a mess as it is.

‘I’m sorry. I won’t ask any more. Please calm down, you are safe’ he said while gently his fingers through Jack’s short hair.

‘Thank you’ he whispered, holding on tightly, trying to control his breathing.

‘I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to force you to anything’ Ianto reassured again.

‘Can we…’ Jack paused.

‘Go on, say it. Whatever it is’ he encouraged.

‘Can we finish our coffees, standing side-by-side?’ he asked in a whisper.

‘Of course we can. I told you, whatever you want. I’m just happy to have you by my side right now’ he answered while gently letting go of Jack.

They both turned back to their now half-warm coffees, enjoying them in silence, feeling the warmth of each other at their sides.

After finishing, Ianto put both their cups into the sink and went to stand next to Jack again.

‘What are you thinking about? Ianto prompted after Jack stayed silent for a while.

‘I’m scared’ he admitted ‘I’m scared that this isn’t real. That you are going to leave. I’m scared to get hurt… again… I know that it wasn’t you – it was someone else but it hurt so much. I’m scared to get too close to you and at the same time I want to grab you and never let go again. I meant what I said. I came back for you and I really did miss you. Your loving touches and gestures, your kisses, your voice, you holding me or me holding you. Everything about you. The reason I left was because I wanted the Doctor to fix me, make me mortal so I could grow old with you. But he can’t. He called me wrong, couldn’t even stand to look at me…’ his voice cracked.

Ianto slowly covered Jack’s hand with his own, squeezing softly when Jack didn’t flinch away.

Taking a deep breath, Jack continued ‘I really don’t want to lose you and I’m scared that I messed up today. That you don’t want me because of what happened and because I’m wrong. I don’t want you to leave…’

Ianto slowly turned both of them so they were facing each other.

‘Can I touch your face? I promise I’m not going to hurt you’ he said.

After a while Jack nodded and Ianto slowly lifted both of his hands, giving him enough time to pull back if he wanted to. He placed them on either side of Jack’s face softly stroking his cheeks.

‘Listen carefully, Cariad. I don’t think you are wrong, I never thought that and I never will. I missed you just as much and now that I have you back, I’m not going to leave you, no if you don’t want me to. I’ll do whatever I can to prove you that, whatever you want, whatever makes you happy. You decide, you set the pace and I’ll follow. What happened to you doesn’t change anything. If you want space, tell me. If you want to talk, tell me. But please, promise me to not shut me out. I want our relationship to grow. I want to go on dates with you, come home to you and care for you as long as you want that too’ he confessed ‘so no, I’m not leaving.  
Thank you for trusting me and giving us another chance even if I can’t change what happened.’

Jack’s eyes had filled with tears and hope began to grow in him. Maybe they were going to fix this after all.

Leaning forward he rested his forehead against Ianto’s. He lifted his hands to his chest to feel the heartbeat under his right hand and then closed his eyes taking a deep, shaky breath  
‘I realized early on that he wasn’t you. He was different.’

‘How so?’ Ianto enquired.

‘He smelled like death and blood. That was everything I could smell when he was around and it got stronger every day. He also... he had two heartbeats... but you, you smell clean, completely different. It calms me and I can feel only one heartbeat. I know it’s you but I sometimes can focus enough...’ said Jack and then proceeded to yawn ‘I’m sorry, I’m not completely recovered yet...’

Ianto was familiar with that. Whenever Jack died he tended to require more sleep to heal.

‘It’s okay and pretty late already. I can take you back to the hub or a hotel. Although I don’t really want to leave you alone at the moment. I would rather you take my bed and sleep here and I’ll take the couch. I honestly care and worry about you. You just need to tell me what you prefer or need.’

‘I... I want to stay, please’ Jack replied nervously.

‘I’m glad. I just need to quickly grab a pillow and a blanket for me. I’ll be right back’ Ianto said slowly moving away.

‘No’ jack exclaimed panicked.

‘No?’ frowned Ianto ‘What is it?’

‘Please, I...’ stuttered jack ‘I want you to sleep in your bed too. Us together but.. I’m not... no sex... please... I don’t... If you want, you can... uhm... use me of course but...’

‘Jack, stop please. I’m not going to use you for sex and I’m not going to do anything you don’t want. I practise consensual sex. If my partner says no because they are not in the mood or don’t feel good then there will be no sex. If you don’t want me to touch you, hold you, stand close to you or anything else you tell me and I’ll instantly back off. Is that clear?’ Ianto explained firmly.

Jack nodded looking down.

‘Good. Now you want us to sleep together in my bed, correct?’

Jack nodded.

‘Alright. There’s enough space for both of us as you know. So come on and let’s get some sleep.’

Together they went into the bedroom.

‘Sweatpants and a t-shirt okay for you?’ asked Ianto opening his wardrobe.

‘Yes, please’ Jack answered quietly.

After a few moments Ianto handed him grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt which were Jack’s size.  
They smelled just like Ianto did and comforted him the moment they were in his hands.

‘Do you want to use the bathroom first?’

‘I didn’t bring anything’ Jack hesitated.

‘I left your thing the way they were before you left’ Ianto admitted which made Jack look at him surprised ‘I couldn’t... I still hoped you would come back - I didn’t give up just yet’

‘I’m going first then’ declared Jack.

While Jack was in the bathroom, Ianto too changed into comfortable clothes for the night.

After going back into the bedroom Ianto went to get ready.

Overwhelmed Jack stood in front of the bed for a few minutes before he went to the side of the bed he had usually occupied.  
Sitting down he felt the soft fabric of the sheets as if it was the first time.

He slowly laid down, head on the pillow, drawing the blanked over himself.  
Feeling wrong he quickly sat back up. He wasn’t allowed to sleep and certainly not to lay down. Flashes of being tortured sprang into his mind and panic started to spread through his whole body. His heartbeat sped up and his breath came in short gasps.

Something in front of him moved and he expected the first blow so he closed his eyes accepting his fate. When nothing happened he carefully opened his eyes and looked up into Ianto’s concerned eyes.

‘What were you thinking about?’ he gently asked sitting down in front of him on the bed cross-legged.

‘I just... It felt odd laying in a bed. I wasn’t allowed to sleep or lay down. I... He would punish me every time I passed out’ Jack whispered.

‘Where did you stay the whole time if you weren’t allowed to sleep or lay down in a bed? On the floor?’ he questioned concerned.

‘No, I was... chained to a wall or the ceiling by my wrists the whole time. I couldn’t have touched the ground if I had wanted to’ he mumbled

Ianto had thought it couldn’t get any worse but every time Jack revealed something of his time gone, something he had had to live through, it did get worse.

‘This is different. You are allowed to walk, sit and lay wherever you want to. You are allowed to sleep when you are tired - nobody will force you anywhere. Okay? Now please lay down and enjoy a nice, comfy, soft and warm bed and sleep for however long you want and need to. Yeah?’  
Without responding Jack lay back down facing Ianto who did the same.

Tentatively he reached his hand out to feel Ianto’s cheek. It was covered in a light stubble that had grown over the day. Then he felt the soft lips under his fingertips, how his muscles moved as he curled them into a soft smile.

‘Are you okay? Warm enough, need water or anything?’ Ianto asked.

‘No, I’m content, thanks’ Jack replied still mesmerized with what he was feeling.

He then entangled his fingers with Ianto’s and lay them down in the middle of the bed between them.

‘This okay?’ Jack asked.

‘Yeah’ Ianto squeezed his hand ‘Let’s sleep, okay? I’ll be here if you need anything. Wake me up please, no holding back - promise it’ Ianto demanded.

‘Thank you. For everything’ whispered Jack.

‘I’m just glad you are back’ mumbled Ianto ‘Sleep well, Cariad’

‘You too, Ianto’

Closing their eyes, they soon feel asleep, comforted by the sound of each other’s breathing.


End file.
